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22 Funny Quotes About Love & Marriage To Make You Smile

Because we could all do with some loved-up laughs right now...

Don't get us wrong, there's nothing we love more than a bit of romantic soppiness, from tear-jerking films (that probably star Ryan Gosling) to romantic quotes about love that make us feel all warm and fuzzy inside. But we also love funny quotes about love and marriage, and given everything that's going in the world right now, we figured there's never been a better time to spread a smile and add some of these laugh out loud thoughts to the mix.

What you do with them, however, that's totally up to you. Turn them into memes, send them to bae while they're at work or even add them to your wedding speech because every speech needs to be both sweet and sentimental, funny and heartfelt.

Now, if you're like everyone else that's ever had to make a wedding speech -- from the Best Man to the Happy Couple - you've probably started sweating in places you never thought possible. But you don't need to panic because smashing your speech out of our Garden Pavilion is nowhere near as hard as you might think. And to help you out with this, we've been busy pulling together our favourite, funniest, most belly-laughing quotes about love and marriage for you to drop into your big moment. 

*These quotes are so short, snappy and hilarious, you could even add them to your save the dates or use them on your table names.

1. “Take care of him. And make him feel important. And if you can do that, you’ll have a happy and wonderful marriage. Like two out of every ten couples.” -- Neil Simon

2. “My wife, Mary, and I have been married for forty-seven years, and not once have we had an argument serious enough to consider divorce. Murder, yes, but divorce, never.” -- Jack Benny

3. "“All marriages are happy. It’s the living together afterward that causes all the trouble.” -- Raymond Hull

4. “Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.” -- Maryon Pearson

5. “The best way to get most husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they’re too old to do it.” -- Ann Bancroft

6. “Some mornings I wake up grumpy. And some mornings I just let him sleep.” -- Anonymous

7. “Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage – they’ve experienced pain and bought jewellery.” -- Rita Rudner

8. "A good marriage is one where each partner secretly suspects they got the better deal.” -- Anonymous

9. “Marriage is not just spiritual communion, it is also remembering to take out the trash.” -- Joyce Brothers

10. “When a man opens a car door for his wife, it’s either a new car or a new wife.” -- Prince Phillip

11. “Marriage is an attempt to solve problems together which you didn’t even have when you were on your own.” -- Eddie Cantor

12. “I love being married. It’s so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.” -- Rita Rudner

13. “All men make mistakes, but married men find out about them sooner.”

— Red Skelton

14. "“Marriage is a bond between a person who never remembers anniversaries and another who never forgets them.” -- Anonymous

15. “The most important four words for a successful marriage: ‘I’ll do the dishes.'” -- Anonymous

16. “Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.” -- George Bernard Shaw

17. "A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person." -- Mignon McLaughlin

18. "A happy marriage is a long conversation which always seems too short." -- André Maurois

19. "My most brilliant achievement was my ability to be able to persuade my wife to marry me." -- Winston Churchill

20. "Marriage has no guarantees. If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a car battery." -- Erma Bombeck

21. "If you love ’em in the morning with their eyes full of crust; if you love ’em at night with their hair full of rollers, chances are, you’re in love." -- Miles Davis

22. "To keep your marriage brimming, with love in the loving cup, whenever you're wrong, admit it; whenever you're right, shut up." -- Ogden Nash

Thanks for reading! For more wedding tips, please do follow us on Facebook and Instagram and then tell all your friends to do the same.


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